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N.A.Q. Version 2.0

NAQv1.0 FAQv1.0

Q. Really? We need more additions to the N.A.Q.? The first one wasn't useless enough, we have to have more?

A. Yep. We do.

Q. Even with the F.A.Q. that was recently added?

A. We have a F.A.Q.?

Q. Yeah. It's been in the secret section...

A. The secret section?

Q. The Zone?

A. Qu'est que ce? The Zone?

Q. Yeah. The Zone... The secret section... you didn't find it?

A. ... Um... oh, well, of course I did.

Q. Liar. You don't even know what I'm talking about.

A. Of course, I do! The Zone! I'm hip! I know!

Q. You don't know!

A. That's the name of the site.

Q. Oh, for the sake of everything holy... this is even worse than the first N.A.Q.

A. It might help if you get back to actually asking questions.

Q. Right. So... We have a F.A.Q.?

A. That's what I asked you!

Q. Yeah, and I said it's been in the Zone.

A. Right.

Q. But now, it's here. With the N.A.Q. Versions 1.0 and now: 2.0!

A. So what's in the Zone now, then?

Q. What's the Zone?

A. ... The secret section! You're the one who--

Q. Yeah, but I'm asking the questions, remember?

A. ... You do have a point for once.

Q. Okay, moving on...

A. Moving on.

Q. I just said that.

A. ...............

Q. Okay, so now that things have actually gotten started on the site, I have all sorts of questions that I didn't have when we did the first N.A.Q.!

A. Good.

Q. Yeah...

A. ... And some of those questions would be...?

Q. I'm the one asking the questions here!

A. So freakin' ask them! Oh my stars and garters, why does everything have to be so hard?!

Q. Stop asking questions!!!

A. START asking questions!!!

Q. Fine!

A. Fine!

Q. ... So... uh... Albatraz... Ak is from there, it's the setting for your book... Is there some kind of connection?

A. You just said the connection, didn't you? Ak is from there, and it's also the setting of my book. That's the connection.

Q. There's no other connection?

A. Like what?

Q. Oh, I don't know... Like, is Ak the long-lost second-cousin with a tail of Maddock Traz or something?

A. ... Not that I know of.

Q. Shouldn't you?

A. Shouldn't I what?

Q. Shouldn't you know? It's your story.

A. ... I don't think they have family ties, but who knows?

Q. But then, story-wise, they do both come from the same Albatraz? It's the same planet and everything?

A. Yep.

Q. That's interesting... But Adventures of Ak is a comedy and Legends of Az isn't intentionally funny...

A. Well, they're only indirectly--Hey, wait a minute! What do you mean it isn't "intentionally" funny?

Q. Oh, hey, speaking of your book... why don't you ever update that?

A. Oh, I don't know... Lots of reasons. For one thing, I have to be in just the right mood to write like that, and it's hard to get in and/or maintain that mood when working on comics and videos all the time. I also didn't figure anyone cared about that except for me anyway.

Q. According to a recent poll on your site, there are at least three people who are interested.

A. And that actually is encouraging. I intend to add more.

Q. When?

A. Sometime.

Q. That's not very specific.

A. No, it's not.

Q. ... All right.... Hey, is that REALLY the reason you haven't updated it yet?

A. ... What do you mean?

Q. You're not revising the prologue AGAIN, are you?!

A. .................... Next question!

Q. Okay, so Charlie in the comics...

A. Yeah?

Q. You don't really expect me to believe that that's a girl, do you?

A. Well... yeah...

Q. It doesn't look like a girl.

A. That's kinda the point.

Q. Speaking of which, that's kind of a weird storyline anyway; everybody thinking Charlie's a boy, but it says it's a girl...

A. It?

Q. Yeah. Is that story actually going anywhere or is it just weidness for sake of weirdness.

A. It's going somewhere. All my stories are going somewhere. I have arcs planned out in my head very, very, very far in advance. Often times, I even know how it ends.

Q. Oh, really? So how does it all end?

A. Ak accidentally blows up the world.

Q. Really?

A. Probably not.

Q. Oh... That sounds like it would be funny, though.

A. Well, who knows? I did say, "probably."

Q. ... You don't have a clue how Adventures of Ak is gonna end, do you?

A. *Shrug* Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I do know how the Life and Deaths of Cooter Brown ends, though.

Q. So how does that end?

A. You don't really want me to give it away, do you?

Q. Um... Yeah, I don't care. Go ahead.

A. Well... No, I'm not gonna. That would ruin everything.

Q. Fine... So I've heard a lot about this Moonshine that's supposed to be mentioned in LDCB sometime?

A. Yeah, that's actually a pretty important thing in the story, actually.

Q. Yeah, but I've heard about the real Moonshine. The true-to-life Moonshine. I've heard... rumors...

A. The rumors have been greatly exaggerated.

Q. I hear it happened YEARS ago, and there are STILL people who get all uppity about it! It's practically a legend now!

A. Which is one of the reasons I like messing with it in LDCB, but you know, pretty much nobody here knows what you're talking about, and there's a limited amount of it that really matters to Moonshine in LDCB anyway, so why are we talking about it?

Q. I dunno... Couldn't think of anything else... So, about that extra "s" in the title...

A. What extra "s"?

Q. You know: The Life and DeathS of Cooter Brown...

A. Oh, okay, what about it?

Q. Typically, people only have one death, why is it plural?

A. You'll just have to watch the series to find out.

Q. Well, that's annoying. What if I don't want to watch the series?

A. Then why are you here?

Q. I'm waiting on updates for your book!

A. Oh... right... sorry...

Q. So have you actually sold any T-shirts yet?

A. Oh, sure. Loads of 'em!

Q. Liar.

A. I can dream, can't I?

Q. ... Okay, Totally Random Questions Time!!!

A. Oh, yay...

Q. That wasn't very enthusiastic.

A. ....... Yaaaaay...

Q. Better... What's your favorite color?

A. Wow, that's just... that's just a superb question... Really deep. Bound to get some great insights.

Q. Just answer the damn question!

A. I like blue.

Q. ... That's it? Blue... Just a basic primary color? Perfectly ordinary blue?

A. ... Royal blue?

Q. Oh, so now you think you're like royalty? Like you're above the rest of us or something?

A. ... Um... Navy blue?

Q. Oh, the Navy, huh? You know what kind of guys go into the Navy, right?

A. That's an inaccurate generalization, to say the least, and you're gonna get us in trouble with any Navy people visiting the site.

Q. Whatever. Are you afraid of the dark?

A. No... only what lurks in the darkness...

Q. Oops... Question 32 is gone...

A. What?

Q. Nothing. Which do you like better: Fruit Loops or Cheerios?

A. ... Are you just stealing questions from one of those little surveys that circulates around the bulletins of myspace?

Q. ... No.

A. You are! That's exactly what you're doing! Dude, those things are a waste of time. If you don't have anything better to ask me, then, I think we're done!

Q. Okay, okay, okay. I've got better questions... Um... Boxers or briefs?

A. We're done here. Till the unfortunately inevitable N.A.Q. Version 3.0, good night and use fabric soften--

Q. WAIT! That reminds me!

A. What now?

Q. Sock Puppet Theatre!

A. You have a question about Sock Puppet Theatre?

Q. Yeah.

A. ... Okay...

Q. So what were you guys smoking when you decided THAT would be a good idea?

A. ... Like I said: Good night and use fabric softener. I'm outta here!

Q. No, really! I was serious!... Hello? Anybody there?............ Um...............

END OF N.A.Q. Version 2.0


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