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The Life and Deaths of Cooter Brown

Character Biographies

Cooter Brown
Alter Egos: The Burninator
Age: 24
Affiliations: Married to Apple, “BFF’s with Boyd!” (in his own words)
Other: Although he spends little time “training,” but instead spends the bulk of his time playing video games, Cooter dreams of becoming a professional wrestler. He already has a special wrestling move called “The Incinerator” and he uses it on others as often as he can, especially his best friend, Boyd. Cooter and Boyd have known each other their entire lives. Their families were friends when they were kids, which is how their friendship was forged, despite wildly different personalities. Presumably, one of the reasons their friendship works is because even though they’re five years apart in age, Cooter has always been extremely immature, while Boyd always acted older. Cooter met Apple in college. Although Cooter didn’t spend long in higher education (he never went to class, and just wanted to be a wrestler anyway), he was there long enough to fall in love with Apple. Cooter was an idiot, and Apple was an airhead. They were a match made in heaven! One of the stranger facets of Cooter’s personality is his particular appreciation for some decidedly unusual food combinations. In particular, he loves sandwiches… with chocolate syrup… LOTS of chocolate syrup…
Performed by: Bill Bryan

Joe Killa
Alter Egos: None
Age: 28
Affiliations: Works for Mr. Mister
Other: In the professional assassin community, Joe Killa is a name among names. Arguably the most efficient professional hitman working today, Killa enjoys killing anyone, any time, by whatever means strikes his fancy on that particular day. When not working for Mr. Mister, Joe Killa rarely kills just for pleasure anymore, although he has in the past. Other than that, little is known about the man. He prefers his privacy. When asked questions he doesn’t feel like answering, he tends to simply say, “You don’t know.”
Performed by: Chris Hamblin

Boyd Valentine
Alter Egos: The Snowman or The Freezinator
Age: 19
Affiliations: Friend of Cooter’s
Other: As Cooter’s best friend, Cooter dreams of being tag-team partners with Boyd, but Boyd has no interest in wrestling. For the past few years, Boyd has lived a secret double-life as a contract killer. Now, as he seeks more gainful opportunities as a professional assassin, Boyd may soon find his two lives in direct competition with one another.
Performed by Kyle Goff

Glamour Latham
Alter Egos: None
Age: Claims to be 22
Affiliations: Works with and is married to Rad Latham
Other: Glamour hosts her own local multi-subject talk show, The Glamour Show (now airing in 42 markets!). Adamantly believing that she is the most beautiful person walking the planet, Glamour speaks to all others as if they are below her, and she loves to hear herself talk. According to Rad, she hasn’t always been like that. He says she wasn’t the least bit conceited when they first met and married many years ago, but that the success of her TV show has gone to her head. If there's some truth to Rad's explanation of how Glamour has changed, perhaps another example comes in the fact that Glamour has since become agoraphobic. She refuses to explain to Rad why she will not leave the house anymore, but she never does leave for anything. Even her show is filmed out of her house. Currently, her show is doing a series on the mysterious local (but nationally-known) event, called The Moonshine Massacre, soon to be a major motion-picture starring Rolf Irving!
Performed by Amanda Ziegler

Rad Latham
Alter Egos: None
Age: 27
Affiliations: Works with and is married to Glamour Latham
Other: Rad is the producer of The Glamour Show, and basically does all the behind-the-scenes work, while Glamour preens and stares at herself in the mirror. Or at least, he MUST do all the work, because the work does get done. In spite of this, though, Rad spends an extraordinary amount of time in front of the television, watching cartoons and gorging on chips and macaroni and cheese (his favorite). Not even Glamour knows how he manages to get so much done, yet still have so much extra time for his beloved cartoons.
Performed by Chris Ziegler

Apple Brown
Alter Egos: None
Age: 23
Affiliations: Married to Cooter, works for Rolf
Other: Apple makes a good enough living working as a personal assistant for Rolf Irving to support both herself and her husband, Cooter. She spends her days running errands for Rolf, or just trailing him around. She clearly doesn’t do the greatest job for him and seems to be somewhat accident-prone, but Rolf keeps her on for some reason anyway.
Performed by Amy Bryan

Rolf Irving
Alter Egos: None
Age: 22
Affiliations: Employs Apple, brother of Fred
Other: After a big breakout performance in the hit movie, Bad Wolf, Rolf Irving quickly became viewed as the next big thing in Hollywood, a status he quickly took advantage of to push his own pet-project, a movie based on the Moonshine Massacre. While still early in the planning stages of that project, Rolf met Apple, and hired her as his personal assistant on the spot. Although he loves Apple, he seems less fond of Cooter, and often tells Apple she could do better.
Performed by Daniel Holt

Fred Irving
Alter Egos: None
Age: 22
Affiliations: Brother of Rolf, only known survivor of the Moonshine Massacre
Other: Two years ago, something horrible happened in a small town in Oklahoma, in which thirty-three people were found brutally murdered, as well as another nine still missing and presumed dead. The only survivor of the incident was Fred Irving, who has been severely traumatized by the event. As he was rescued, the only thing he said – and he said it over and over again, it and it alone for nearly a year after the Massacre – was, “Moonshine… Moonshine… Moonshine…” He still refuses to say anything else about what happened, but that one thing that he did say is what provided the name for the Moonshine Massacre.
Performed by Daniel Holt

Mr. Mister
Alter Egos: Unknown
Age: Unknown
Affiliations: Employs Joe Killa, ex-husband of Ms. Missus
Other: No one seems to know what he looks like. Even his best, favorite hitman, Joe Killa has never seen his face, and although having once been married to Ms. Missus, even she seems unclear on his actual features.

Ms. Missus
Alter Egos: Unknown
Age: Unknown
Affiliations: Ex-wife of Mr. Mister
Other: Ms. Missus alliances seem to be shrouded in even more mystery than Mr. Mister’s appearance. Despite being divorced from Mr. Mister, she appears to have maintained some sort of working relationship with him. Nothing else is known about her.
Performed by Jannea Turner

Xlii
Alter Egos: Unknown
Age: Unknown
Affiliations: Unknown
Other: She has a website, on which she says only that: she has answers! Nothing else is known.
Performed by Katrina Lynam-Henderson

One-Note Rob
Alter Egos: Unknown
Age: Unknown
Affiliations: Unknown
Other: Nothing is known about One-Note Rob apart from his name. He has been seen in random places, at random times, most often repeating a single note over and over again on his keyboard.
Performed by Rob McCutcheon

Unknown
Alter Egos: sometimes referred to as “The Dark”
Age: Unknown
Affiliations: Moonshine(?)
Other: Nothing is known about this mysterious figure, except that it is said he has some sort of connection to the Moonshine Massacre. Was he involved in the murders? Is he an unknown survivor? He seems to be the stuff of legend. Those few who dare even to speak of him say that he is the thing that haunts of the dreams of monsters.

Dead Guy
Alter Egos: Unknown
Age: Unknown
Affiliations: Killed by Killa
Other: A janitor at a church building. Nothing else is known.
Performed by BJ Hartsburg